Has the X-files series ever been popular in India? I have never been a fan myself but it taught me that “the truth is out there”. There is a slight problem tough: the truth is different, depending on where you are. The philosophers have found a nice name (a –ism name, the worst) for that nebulous concept: they call it relativism. My nomadic existence exposed me to its consequences: an incredibly large array of emotions, from embarrassment to disbelief, from amusement to irritation. Let me tell you my journey.
From Paris to Madurai in India – Age 19
First steps in India, let’s land
smoothly (we have ample time to get back into the swing of things later). When
meeting somebody for the first time, basic questions are exchanged. They serve
several purposes: be polite and show interest in one’s interlocutor but also
pigeonhole the latter. Once aware of the answers, people automatically adjust
their behavior. They abandon their initial reserve to become friendly,
obnoxious or deferential. The type of questions asked reveals the fundamental
values of a society.
In France, more than the
questions asked, it is the unspoken or inappropriate questions that say it all.
People refrain from asking questions about religion, marital status or
political views, which are considered private. Money is also taboo: from one’s
salary to the amount of the rent or the price of this cute little dress that
fits you perfectly, darling. French people can have a 3 hour long conversation
with their neighbor in a train and not ask for his name, which is not
considered rude.
In India however, I experienced less restraint from people and I was asked n number of questions, each more personal and
intrusive than the next from my French standards. The main concern of people was to discover whether I
was married. Scroll up a little. Yes, you read well: I was 19 at that time and
I believe I also looked 19 (unaesthetic pimples, rolls of fat: the works)! Who
is married at 19 nowadays?
I initially used to laugh when I
was asked this question. I later understood that it is very unusual in India to let a girl travel to a land far far away if she is not chaperoned by her legal guardian: her father or her husband. I forgave my interlocutors for their genuine curiosity
and obliged. But I got tired of my relativist attitude and grew intolerant with
this intrusion into my personal space. I regained my French identity by
ignoring the question, which somehow titillated my feminist side.
... to be continued...
Interesting, when I returned from US and Europe and after 6 years I had the same problem, and it continues after 10 years here even though i was born here.
ReplyDeleteIt is actually quite common to feel like a foreigner in one's own country after a period of expatriation. The temptation to idealize the motherland is great, especially if you feel a little homesick.
DeleteCompanies sending people abroad should make sure that they prepare their employees to return to "their normal life".
I met several Indians who find it more difficult to (re-)adapt to India than the foreigners. Very interesting topic.
Imagine moi : 31 ans (bien entamés) et toujours pas mariée... ;)
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